nice jokes - 18++

[choco_fudge]

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while
thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because
every-night men get fresh milk & 2 papayas
women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service"

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing
persons"

SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
section.

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
everything


Post if you have any. ;D

thanks

[jan]

haha nice one. good jokes

[yap100]

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!


this make me laugh the most ;D

[WoShiKengWee]

wth,haha.freakkkking funny lah wth.

[mayi]

hahah! luff luff

[Prh19]

OMG...dam funny ! !

[sleeping]

haha...damn funny...

[Otaku]

very detailed research findings :D

[coldkohmew]

Nice jokes!!!

[gennieQ]

make me laugh non stop :D

[onepage]

well i'm not sure this works but.. ahh heck. :D

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: Im the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force,
you are the people and your baby brother is the future."

"I still dont get it" responded Little Johnny.

"Why dont you sleep then? Maybe you'll understand it better", said the dad.

"Okay then... goodnight" said Little Johnny, then went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother has taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parents room to get help.

When he got to his parents bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.

Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realised something and thinks aloud, "OHH! Now i understand the goverment! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, Nobody cares about the people and the Future is full of shit!

[Marlboro]

hahaha. nice 1. political joke.

[dogbark]

hahaha. nice 1. political joke.

should be an adult + political joke
nice one=]

[trigger]

i liked the first joke.

[animaniaboy23]

I love the first joke posted by my blogfriend choco_fudge especially Names of Wives, Old Man and Young Girl,especially I believe the 2nd wife will be happy if she is called Barbie Doll better than the other 3,probably this could be her hint :D
As for Old Man and Young Girl,more like grandpa and her young daughter together,most people won't believe they r actually married :eek:

[ArtieFish]

hehe made me n my friends laugh till we almost cried :D:D:D:D:D

[yangyang13]

power joke! nice one

[tinkerthots]

funny jokes!

[RedSox24]

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.

She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.

He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."

The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?"

Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO!!!



:D

[some1z]

loled at these jokes

[McGwai]

Nice one!!!!!

[loolaland]

should post more of such jokes.

[IloveNgeeAnn]

haha,,,nice joke!